CoupleWorld

I'm days away from "being in my forties" and you want to know what I'm sick of? I'm sick of not going with anybody. I was at an outdoor dinner party the other night when my friend's neighbor walked up to say hi. It went something like this:

neighbor: just wanted to stop over and say hi.
friend: hey neighbor, you remember Becki.
neighbor: sure, hi Becki. with Jim, right?
friend: and Sharon.
neighbor: now who do you go with?
sharon: (pointing) him, my husband Bill.
friend: and this is Jennifer.
neighbor: (looks around, no more boys) silence.

Don't get me wrong. I was really happy to be there. It's an annual tradition that I very much look forward to and treasure. One thing married folk probably don't notice is that if you're not "The Johnsons" or "The Smiths" you rarely get invited to stuff like that. Dinner parties of three, five or seven don't happen much. If you are part of a couple then you get to go out with couples, have drinks with couples, bar-b-que with couples. Couples do that. Couples couple. The Smiths rarely invite The Jennifer over for the evening. It's nobody's fault. It just is.

I have a mental list of people I would be friends with if I were a we. I have one imaginary tradition in my mind of the couple we'd go to the Civic Theater with (we would all have season tickets). I know what meal I would make if ? and I had The Johnsons over. I actually have a bottle of wine I will open some day when The Smiths drop by for an evening of board games. I even listen to the podcast called "The Dinner Party Download" faithfully so I'll be ready. Unfortunately, The Jones don't invite The Jennifer on vacation to Cancun. They just don't :(

I have fantastic friends, both married and unmarried. I have awesome traditions and adventures and evenings out and vacations. I'm very lucky to be loved by so many interesting and hilarious people. I just want to be loved by one more. The one man who holds the key to CoupleWorld.

My dream evening would go something like this: Making reservations for four (not sure why, I've never gone anywhere that required a reservation in my life!). Being dropped off at the door because it's raining (romantic evenings always include some rain). Having a coffee with Irish Cream for dessert even though I had a few glasses of wine with dinner (my dream relies on my husband being the designated driver for some reason even though I rarely drink at all). Chatting about the highlights of the evening on the way home (laugh and sigh). Sharing the sink while we brush our teeth. Then spooning. Is that too much to ask?

Lean into it, Jennifer

I have an ipod, a dvr, a computer- when my mind strays, I rewind in 30 second increments. When what I'm listening to is really good I repeat, now more easily and often than ever. I probably pause my favorite podcasts ten times before I get through them. Technology has ruined any rudimentary skill of concentration I ever used to have. I reach for the non-existent button on my car radio to replay some detail I missed. My niece, Madalynn, takes her little five year old finger and pushes the imaginary pause icon in the middle of page 10 on "Are You My Mother" so she can share a "really important" thought with me. So when I recently heard Anne Lamott speak in Grant, Michigan, I felt an unrelenting urge to pause and sometimes rewind her talk so my mind could catch up with the profound, funny, simple, deep, poetic and beautiful stories she shared.

People who inspire me most are those who know how to lift me out of my world by weaving a well-crafted story like a tapestry. I'm much more impressed by the way someone tells a story than the accuracy of that story. Not that folks would lie and exaggerate on purpose but if a story is told well, it's magical to me. Some of my favorite podcasts are all about good storytelling- This American Life, Studio 360, The Moth, Risk!, Slate's Culture Gabfest, Dinner Party Download, The Story, and any of Ricky Gervais' stuff. These programs send me off to my dreams every night now. I feel like a kid again- on one of those rare occasions where my dad would tell me a story until I fell asleep. He was a great storyteller!

I'm going to give storytelling a try through this blog. A lot of friends have told me that I have some interesting stories to tell. So, I'll attempt to weave a tapestry that has been my life so far and see what happens. Some stories will be sad, hopefully some will be funny and most of all I hope some will lift you out of your world for a minute and it will feel good.


Anne Lamott challenged us to "just write". Just make yourself write everyday and see what happens. So, welcome to my experiment. I'm going to lean into it- my past, my fears, my foibles and doubts and see what happens. If I try to write everyday for awhile, maybe a few good stories will emerge and I will share them here. Wish me good luck :)